Brand-less Mom, Blogging Away

The unborn human child inside my belly is awake and galloping about. The born human child who is one and a half months shy of two years old is asleep in her room. I am sitting. This is nap time. Nap time is my time, and usually I do nothing more than sit. It’s my “indulgence” if you will, though I feel no guilt over it, nothing but thankfulness to have an hour or two of peace and rest. It is my favorite time of day. When I feel completely ok doing absolutely nothing. But this time is swiftly coming to an end, thanks to the galloping bundle of boy about to reach 39 weeks gestation on Friday.

So when I should be content in this time of uninterrupted sleep, books, or social media, I am wide awake brain-storming about what kind of woman I want to be. Because I’m about to have another baby. ANOTHER BABY. My unstable secondary identity of wannabe-boho mom of one is about to explode into a confused and overwhelmed wannabe-boho mom of TWO who has no idea who she really is.

So yes, during this naptime when I most assuredly should be sleeping, I am writing and agonizing over what my secondary identity (or brand, as the kids say…) is. In other words, what do I DO with my life. What is my STYLE. What is my HOBBY. What is my PERSONALITY. Haha, “take a test” you may tell me, but surely tests are of the devil.

Ok, not really. But maybe. I feel like I’ve been waxing eloquent so far, have I been eloquent? Haha, no? Maybe just wordy? Perhaps that. Okay, I’m almost done. But first, in all this identity talk, I must tell you the reason I say secondary identity is because I know my true, steadfast, sure identity is in Christ Jesus and my personhood as a child of God, being redeemed from my life of sin and death by Jesus’ own death on the cross. Through faith, by His grace, I am secure for all eternity in being the woman He created me to be.

There, the goodness. Now, the silly: this woman has no brand. I’m a brand-less stay-at-home-mom. A No-Brand SAHM. Though perhaps I can add “Sarcastic SAHM.” That has a better ring to it…

I’ve tried to get this blogger persona revved up and running free a few times now, but when you feel like a juvenile boring person, you don’t really want to write words. Part of this is caring too much what people think. Like moms. Moms are the worst. Anybody? Cheers to that.

But here I am wanting to be a mom blogger! Haha who am I!

Yeah, mom bloggers. I see you. I actually don’t read you hardly at all…but I want to join you. To stand amongst the popular mom-bloggers who have followers and get free things, however, I must figure out my type. My brand. My purpose.

I like to study and learn, but do not feel qualified to share wisdom. I like to craft and create, but don’t have inspiration or a space. I like to see the humorous  and extraordinary in the everyday, but I’m insecure about my audience. I like making nutritious things to eat, but also find dinner a drudgery. And I just discovered bohemian macramé wall hangings that would 100 percent spice up my life and bedroom décor, getting me all up in the Pinterest way, but will I be motivated in the next month to make one? NO. So, my brand could be Boring Uncreative SAHM Who Has Opinions.

But then suddenly there are days when I create. I make homemade salsa, tortillas, AND refried beans for Taco Wednesday. Or I harvest, freeze, dehydrate, and boil elderberries to make my own elderberry syrup. Or I sew maternity leggings out of a belly band and some old yoga pants. Or perhaps I write a poem about my toddler’s obsession with cheese! Surely these are the days I am truly living!

DOES ANYBODY GET ME? Why is it so hard to do fun things? Why do some women just do it all? My first child is almost two, I SHOULD BE AMAZING BY NOW. Somebody (like my mother) please say, “Chill out, Amy, you’re about to have another baby…just be.” Okay, Mom. Thank you. Hold me?

Stay-tuned, this High-Strung Seriously Self-Conscious Snarky SAHM may ramble again in about six months.

One Response to “Brand-less Mom, Blogging Away”

  1. Jana J says:

    Wow! You are a mom-blogger! Hehe 🙂 I’m impressed. Loved reading. AND I’m pretty sure you just successfully branded yourself the “Wannabe-Boho Mama”! 😆 I totally want to be a wanna-be boho mama someday now, hahaha. Anyway, I like it…its authentic and you are the most boho mama I know because #1 you have fancy morrocon pillows and furniture in your living room #2 you are getting belly henna, haha #3 you wanna make a macrome wall-hanging #4 you wear beautiful skirts, live in the trees and contemplate life… I mean what’s more ‘boho’ around here than that? 💗 Look forward to reading what comes next!